• What is your idea of perfect happiness?
A full cupboard/refrigerator as the blizzard of the century rages outside.
• What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Cruelty, followed by willful ignorance and obliviousness.
• What is your greatest fear?
That the milk has gone sour.
• What is your greatest extravagance?
• What is your current state of mind?
• What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
• On what occasion do you lie?
When presented with the opportunity to amuse those within earshot.
• What do you most dislike about your appearance?
No issues, except for those (now extremely rare) occasions when I under-slather the SPF 70 and sustain a mild burn.
• Which living person do you most despise?
Same one as you do. And same one as almost every person I know.
• What is the quality you most like in a man?
Kindness, and the ability to laugh at oneself.
• What is the quality you most like in a woman?
• Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
Probably a tie between:
“Keep that under your hat.”
“Locally-sourced, small-batch, artisanal data.”
• When and where were you happiest?
30 June 2012. New Paltz, NY.
• Which talent would you most like to have?
• If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I would like to require less sleep than I do.
• What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Esquire declaring me one of the five “Best Dressed Real Men” of 2007.
• If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
The Aurora Borealis.
• Where would you most like to live?
London, Rome, or Stockholm. Preferably with the option of yachting between the three cities, every couple of months.
• What is your most treasured possession?
• What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Most MTA subway platforms, these days.
• What is your favorite occupation?
Getting lost in Green-Wood Cemetery.
• What is your most marked characteristic?
High-end listening skills.
• What do you most value in your friends?
Their wicked senses of humor.
• Who are your favorite writers?
Salinger, Orwell, Wilde, O’Connor (Flannery).
• Who is your hero of fiction?
• Which historical figure do you most identify with?
T.E. Lawrence (that’s right — “of Arabia”.)
• Who are your heroes in real life?
• What is it that you most dislike?
• What is your greatest regret?
Agreeing to answer any of these questions.
• How would you like to die?
Buried alive in mashed potatoes or guacamole.
• What is your motto?
“A pint of sweat will save a gallon of blood.”
— General George S. Patton